I've been going through a tough time recently. It began around my 60th birthday; it was an assessment of where I am in my life; it wasn’t regret; it was a pause to notice where I am and reflect on what was in store for the remaining years of my life.
One of the things that I realized in observing my life is that I avoid doing what’s good for me. I don’t mean eating kale but I avoid doing things that bring me pleasure. I stare at the television even though I have knitting and crocheting projects in baskets by my chair that I could pick up while watching. I enjoy that creativity. I teach yoga, which is the thing that I enjoy most in my life at the moment, yet I have to force myself to practice at home on my own and sometimes don’t do it. I need/want to put more energy into planning classes and promoting classes so that yoga can become a bigger part of my life but do I get on it? No. For some of you, it's a challenge to get out the door to a yoga class when you're curled up at home yet no one ever regretted going to a yoga class. We all feel so much better after class.
There’s a feeling of lethargy and a childish voice saying “I don’t wanna.” about many of the things that bring me pleasure and success. What the heck is this all about? Is it our evil twin making us avoid what brings us joy preferring to have us wallow in sadness and self-pity?Perhaps you have your own list of things that you avoid even though you love them. The article in the ink below speaks of resistance for lots of different reasons - change, self-discovery, trust. Resistance can also be related to depression or a lack of self-confidence. There can be a lethargy, fear of failure or even fear of success.
For me, giving myself small goals, making lists, celebrating accomplishments and moving on from disappoints all help to keep me aware of this tendency and move beyond it. The awareness brings me closer to actual action. Then after moving into action, I realize how much I enjoy what I am doing and wonder why I wasn't doing it sooner. We need to be patient with ourselves and keep putting one foot in front of another. Are there things that you avoid doing even though they bring you joy? If so, have you stopped and wondered why?
It's Mental Health Awareness Week. It is wonderful that our mental health is no longer a taboo subject but an issue that affects many of us. There are resources available; reach out for support. https://cmha.ca/mental-health-week/
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Image credit: Harmony Willow Hansen https://harmonywillowhansen.com/